Downton Abbey, Season 4 Episode 3

So, I have given myself permission to post these updates when I can, which obviously, isn't very timely these days.On Sunday night we were living it up with the cool kids at Benihana celebrating my friend Megan's birthday, so shock of all shocks, I missed Downton Abbey. What is Downton compared to onion volcanoes? Nothing, that's what. And those onions were delicious. And I really want one of those grills in my kitchen. And one of those chefs while we are at it.

Alright, on to the fun stuff:

Tell me you see it? 

THE BREAKFAST FROM HELL - Pardon my french, but ANNA HAD TO EAT BREAKFAST NEXT TO HER RAPIST. #*@&%$ My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. Did anyone else feel like crying in the first few minutes of the show? Between Anna and Bates and Tom and Lady What's Her Name, we were three minutes into the show and I was sure I was not going to make it. I was getting a little tired on Tom feeling sorry for himself for not fitting in, but I definitely loved how the Lady got to the nitty gritty of Tom's heartache and I loved her for it. But not enough to remember her name, apparently. Sidenote: BEST LINE of the series or maybe my life, and it didn't even come from Granny: "I have always found something foreign about high spirits at breakfast." Me too, Carson, me too.

Watching Bates fumble and flounder around Anna is as heartbreaking as it is annoying. I mean, who falls and bangs up their head as much as she did, wake up, dude!. She was full on beaten up. Like to a pulp! Between Anna's silly line of not telling Bates because he will kill the man, and the fact that I suspect that the Crawley's will start thinking Bates is beating his woman, I am fed up. I haven't been so annoyed with a story line since, well, Bates was in jail.

DING DONG THE WITCH IS GONE! - This almost makes up for the hating on Bates and Anna. While I hate that she's such a conniving idiot, it was the conniving idiocy that got her the boot. Finally! Way to go Mrs. Hughes. I might have to start a fan club, I love her so much right now. Though, I did cringe at her saying she'd pin her down and rip her clothes off her if she had to. Just felt tacky considering Anna's situation and even a schemer like Edna dosen't deserve that. All in all, though, well played Mrs. Hughes, well played. Ever since last episode, every time Edna walked in I just couldn't shake the image of Voldemort. She's so snake-like, it just fit too perfectly! She got what she deserved, and then some, leaving Downton with her snaky tail between her legs, but not before she gave Thomas the ol' one two. At which I laughed heartily, because, hello, pot, meet kettle. Sidenote: I love how Mary totally came through for Tom, offering him sound advice in his hour of need and that he had the good sense to take good advice when he hears it (*cough* Anna).

WALK OF SHAME - Who knew Edith had it in her to be so naughty? Although, there wasn't a whole lot of shame in her walk, she did try to play dumb when Aunt Rosalind called her out on her comings and goings. Does anyone else get a bad feeling about this? I think Aunt Rosalind's outburst is a foreshadowing of very bad things to come. "The world may be changing, but some things never will." Gulp. Something about the mentally ill wife and Germany and divorces and revoking one's citizenship isn't ringing true with me. Edith! You are making me nervous, girl! Don't be stooopid!

MARY'S MISTAKES - So, Lord Goodlookingham has fallen hard for Lady Mary, so hard in fact, that her family schemes to get them together socially as much as possible in the course of, what, a week? Has everyone brainfarted on the fact that the woman's husband died six months ago? What in the hey is everyone's all-fired rush to get Mary, well, married? Mary has a good time with him, laughs, smiles, Isobel has a sweet moment where she says how she hopes she will see him often blah, blah, blah. Gillingham asks Mary to marry him twice, both times he is rebuffed.

The second time, when he says she would fill his mind, she says that her mind is too full of Matthew to consider anyone else. It was sweet, it was lovely, it was what you might expect a happily married, recent widow to say. Then, in what is becoming an annoyingly expected move, Lord G asks if he can kiss her, one for the road, and all. They kiss, her wedding ring in clear view as   they snog, and I rolled my eyes, but I was thrilled she turned him down. We She needs more time.

And then, sneaking in just before credits roll, Mary says to Tom, "I think I made a decision I'll regret the rest of my life." *Face-palm* MARY! Are we still mourning, or what? You made a decision, stick with it. I don't know why I found that so ridiculous, but I did.

FAKE AMERICAN ACCENTS SHOULD BE BANNED - Downton Abbey is going global and diverse with the addition of American bandleader, Jack Ross who is black and therefore even less acceptable for little Rose to fall for than if he were only a wretched American. To add insult to injury he has the worst American accent I have ever heard. To be fair, I did double check on IMDB, just in case, because the truly worst American accent I have ever heard turned out to be from an American (it was this guy, on Foyle's War). Bad accent aside, he's cute and I suspect a juicy story line there, though I cannot for the life of me figure out how we are going to see him again.

So, what do you all think? I know there is a whole thing going on downstairs, but I am still just not interested in Alfred/Ivy/Jimmy/Daisy's whatever. Am I the only one?